Author: knowyourworthblog_sq4p6p

Transitional Seasons

At some point in life, everyone experiences a phase of transition. It could be a career change, a new relationship, moving to a new place, making new friends, the loss of a loved one, a new church, starting a family, and so on. These transitions can be challenging and uncomfortable.

The Freeze

We have a large screen at one of the two schools I work for that plays calming instrumental videos. When a video is playing on the screen, one of the students loves to run up to the board and rewind it while it is playing. That might work at home, but it isn’t an appropriate method for a classroom setting to keep rewinding the screen. Our solution to this problem is to freeze the screen to handle it. When the screen is frozen, the video sound continues to play in the background without interruption. You can now hear the video while the screen is frozen.

This particular moment was highlighted to me in a way because the way this video was on a big screen for all to see made me think about our lives in transition. How? There are things on our screen of life that everyone can see. Not only can they see your life on that big screen, but you are personally going through a transition in life that you are trying to figure out “off the screen.” It may appear or be perceived that you are “frozen in time.” Just like that big screen in the classroom, it was playing as normal, then something interfered with it, and it had to be frozen. You could still hear it, but it was no longer in motion.

This experience has taught me that the uncertainty in life can make us feel stuck in a particular moment. It often leads us to believe that we’re missing out on things or that our time is running out. We may even wonder how long we will remain in this frozen state. 

There may seem to be no movement, but you can still hear it. Life sometimes appears frozen, but what if this perspective is wrong? What if this is God’s way of protecting us or redirecting us to where we need to be? It’s hearing the voice of God that keeps us motivated in seasons of transition. Actively listening and hearing what God is saying to you in this session will keep you on the right path. Asking God for his wisdom during this season is vital! It’s serious. Now the real question is, “Is God re-directing your path? Is this a season on which you must refocus? What exactly are you supposed to be accomplishing this season? What are your plans?”

The Bible mentions, “Many plans are in a person’s heart, but the LORD’s decree will prevail.” Proverbs 19:21 In this season of transition, what is God saying to you?

“Perhaps this freeze is God’s way of recalculating our steps, refining certain aspects of our lives, and fine-tuning them before we can move forward.“

Seasons of transition can present opportunities for growth and change, but they can also be unpleasant due to the unknowns. It also may be that your true purpose is hidden until the appropriate moment and conditions are met by being what appears to be frozen in time. I adore discovering the things that God has brought to light in my life. So let’s investigate a few of the advantages that come with freezing naturally. I went with food freezing as a benefit; view this via a spiritual lens.

Benefits of freezing food…

  • Availability & Freshness
  • Time-Saving Convenience
  • Economic Choice
  • No Preparation and Added Food Safety
  • Sealed Freshness

Other benefits are…

  1. Consistent, high quality
  2. Superior Taste
  3. Unbeatable Value

*Logs off and cue the shouting music! Being frozen is not always a bad thing! That state of transition and the pause in transition have benefits! Yes, transitions aren’t easy, they aren’t convenient, they don’t look perfect, and they have you questioning your faith. But what if—just what if? This is the season that brings you the most clarity and brings you to a place that directs you to the people, the places, and the spaces you’ve been ordained to ENCOUNTER! God has a timeline for us all; it’s our duty to get before him and seek and find what he has for us! He wants us to become consistent, high-quality disciples. He wants our lives to have a superior taste so people can eat from who we are. Produce and grab people out of the kingdom of darkness! He teaches us in his word that we are valuable and will always be valuable because of Him, not us!

Questions I often ask myself in a transitional season…

  • Who and what individuals do I need to connect with during this transition? 
  • When does God want me to transition?
  • Where is God leading me in this season?
  • Why is this transition taking place?

Can I tell you that most life transitions do not necessarily indicate that you are unstable? This is especially true when it comes to leaving a place of worship or finding new employment. I’d like to demystify the myths around these two types of transitions. They are frequently discussed from a one-sided perspective, which can make people feel as if they are outside of God’s purpose when transitioning. When you’re going through a change with these two things, it’s always a good idea to pray and seek God’s guidance.

“Especially if you are the leader of your entire family. This directly affects the lives that are connected to you.”

Ask God for his direction and the wisdom to know when the right time is to make a change, or if a change is even needed. It’s important to be patient and cautious during these times and to make sure that you are making the right decisions for yourself and those around you. Trust in God’s plan and have faith that he will guide you on the right path.

guidance in transition

In every life-altering transition in my life, I first consult with God in prayer. I filter through myself, and I ask myself questions. I gather evidence to make sure this transition has nothing attached to it that I’ll later regret. Transitional seasons and seasons to endure look similar, but the defining factor is, “Is it you or God?

Is this a season you have to navigate through and mature through? That your only intention is to flee? Or is this a season in which you’ve proven that you’ve established, developed, and accumulated experience, and it’s currently time to move forward and expand elsewhere?

Wise counsel is your saving grace in your transitional season. Who do you talk to in your transitional seasons? Transitions shift the norm; they shift your way of thinking; they poke at you until you are in a clear mental state to answer well. This is about those who have denied things in life to do what God wants to accomplish in their lives. I’ve recently been hearing in church, “Disciples are different from a believer; disciples dominate.” This means if you are to dominate anything, you have to do it according to what God says. So if you want to accomplish, dominate, and succeed in life, your transitions must be God-led. I made a transition out of a job and position that I loved. But under the conditions of them overworking me, I had to consult with God, and through convos with my parents at the time, what should I do? So I first paused to not quit; to be honest, I was done! But I waited, gained, and learned so much at that job that it was the foundation I’d gained there that helped me succeed in my current job. I’m glad I didn’t quit. I waited until the end of the school year and wrote my resignation letter. I was at that job for 4 years. They truly hated to see me go, but I had to. I transitioned without another job lined up, wrote the resignation letter, and all that. Yep, I walked by faith into my next place of employment, with nothing lined up. 

“That grace was lifted for that job, and I left with no offenses, but I knew my worth! “

My faith at that time was built up to make a move like that because prior smaller victories prepared me for my next faith challenge. I didn’t just leave on hope; I left with the assurance, “If God can answer the prayer to get me here, he can lead me to my next there.” During that transition, it was scary, but I knew I had made the right decision. I was led to go to a job fair during the summer and got hired on the spot, but I didn’t hear back for some weeks. The only thing I knew was the particular district I had to stay in. I later received a call from a previous co-worker asking if I was still interested in this particular district. I said yes; she set me up with the area coordinator, went on an interview, was hired at that specific district, and the rest is history! I knew my transition was God-led, and even though it appeared to be frustrating, it pushed me into a life change and a tax bracket change! What still baffles my mind is that I was offered a job in another district, but I didn’t take it because of the district I was led to work in. I was specific even in my transition on where to go. I’m currently doing what I love to do and have years of financial testimonies from this one transition! Yes, challenges still arrive, but I’m built for them! 

you’re recalibrating

Sometimes our perspectives need a little adjusting. Even after the God-led transition, there’s this thing in between where our faith in God is still being developed. It’s in the wait where our inner man is developed for our future assignments! Our character is often developed in those frozen (waiting) stages. God wants our character to be in a place where we’re able and capable of handling what’s in our next assignment. If not developed, you’ll keep circling back to the same scenarios in your new environment. So sometimes our season of being frozen in time can look like recalibrating, resting, and gaining insight, wisdom, and counsel from the Lord and people. It’s not all bad unless we’re in total disobedience to God’s instructions. That will keep you stuck and unproductive with no growth! Think about the benefits of the frozen food that’s mentioned above. It preserves the freshness and quality! That’s exactly what happens to us; who you are is being preserved, so in the meantime, seek God in what you’re supposed to be doing while you wait in your transitional season. 

Be encouraged in your transitional season!

  1. Keep God first (Matt. 6:33)
  2. Keep Godly wise counsel in your presence (Proverbs 19:20-21)
  3. Seek God for wisdom and instructions. (James 1:5)

investments in you!

I remember the day I woke up to Ishca, clear as day. It was a time in my life were I exhausted all that I could pour and was left with God asking me a question. “Do you know your worth?” From that moment my life changed and for once I made myself a priority. Can I give you a background on how this came to be? First, it started off with having the heart to serve, serve, serve. Since I’ve been born again, the Lord placed grace on my life to serve as a servant leader. Sometimes I forget how many things I’ve actually done while serving at local churches. I can’t honestly remember it all. With the hunger and fire to serve, over the decades I’ve learned to follow, lead and train people, while growing in my faith, understanding the power of team ministry, and much more! Also, it’s part of my make-up, one of my 5 strengths is developer, so I literally attract start up’s in businesses and ministries. I’m often a part of people’s firsts, God graced me with the capacity to help in that specific area, I love helping people! But…what if God in the midst of helping, tells you, you need boundaries, what about the things he personally wants me to steward over?

becoming a good steward

So…let’s go into this portion, Being a Good Steward. Being a good steward with your time, skills, gifts, and assignments has been deeply on my heart for the last 3-4 years. Even stronger this past Nov. of 2022, especially with my business! Investing in myself has truly revolutionized my life. When you’ve sowed the majority of your adulthood in others, dreams, visions, lives, churches, and organizations, you have to come to an understanding, you are worth the investment too! Use that same energy and invest in what God has given you! You have to be a good steward of what’s in YOU! Recently I’ve been led to read this scripture below.

Matthew 25:14-30 in the message version it’s titled “The Story About Investment.” It mentions…
“It’s also like a man going off on an extended trip. He called his servants together and delegated responsibilities. To one he gave five thousand dollars, to another two thousand, and to a third one thousand, depending on their abilities. Then he left. Right off, the first servant went to work and doubled his master’s investment. The second did the same. But the man with the single thousand dug a hole and carefully buried his master’s money.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭25‬:‭14‬-‭18‬ ‭MSG‬‬
When you read further along, it talks about those that have been good stewards of what was given to them and how they were given more talents! For the ones that didn’t, their talent was taken and given to the ones who were investing. But the thing that will have your hair standing up on your neck, later it says “They were thrown out in utter darkness!” The Bible mentions, the Master replies and says ” If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the lest?” My God, if that saying isn’t alarming I don’t know what is! I came to this realization, in my life. What is it that God has given me, that I have allowed myself, people, and circumstances to hinder me, from being a good steward? What is causing this? This internal investigation started when God asked me a simple question. “Do you know your worth?” After the initial question, I went into an incubator to question, what was I doing with my life? What areas do I need to heal from? And why am I not being a good steward of the many ideas and gifts he’s given me! I was at a place in life where I was groomed to believe that serving into your blue in the face was healthy. I found out later, it’s NOT! I say this all the time, “Even God rested!” Balance, boundaries, and wisdom are a few of the things that stops a person from burnout! I allowed that to happen because I didn’t have boundaries and was easily swindled by the mindset “If nobody does it, how is it gonna get done?” Or because of the giving heart that I have, just kept going and going and eventually was manipulated into exhausting myself way over the grace God allotted to me to serve at the time. When all your time, talents, gifting, and skills are being used for somebody else’s gain. Or are you truly being a good steward, if you haven’t personally invested in YOURSELF the way you’ve invested in others? Now serving unto the Lord, you’ll always be taken care of! I’m talking about when you’ve been investing in something or someone for years and years and haven’t stopped to notice, you’re not being a good steward of what he personally wants you to invest in. Time goes by and it’s years with those ideas, and talents on the shelf collecting dust!

what now?

Will that be your story?  I hope it doesn’t! I’m glad it’s not part of my story, God placed a burden on my heart to INVEST in me, unapologetically! I started investing in my career, my small business started taking classes, gained a certification that would help me make more money, and changed jobs, you name it! Now at the time, I didn’t know this is what I started to do. I started to take my life seriously! Time waits on no one and I wasn’t gonna allow myself to just flow by. The fire was lit in me to become a good steward of my life and since that day forward, nobody but God get’s the Glory, how my life has changed and continues to evolve with the understanding of being a good steward over the life he’s given me! I’m still growing and gaining more wisdom in things God wants me to be a good steward of. I haven’t arrived in life and will continue to learn more and more as I grow older and maturer. There’s a lot more evolving and becoming taking place in my life now! I still get it wrong at times and still have to reflect on things, I’m like man I missed that lol! But thank God for his grace and mercy, what I will do is continue to run this race with the knowledge, and will continue to be a good steward of my life to the best ability!

reflective questions

  • What are some things God has given you to invest in?
  • Have you started it? Yes? Or why not?
  • How do you relate to the scripture above?

THE FIGHT. THE UNCERTAINTY. THE SURRENDER.

Have you ever fought something and said I won’t give up until “I WIN” at all costs? Yes? Then me too! That’s a phenomenal drive to have, but what if the fight is against your God-given assignment? What if the thing you are fighting, is what you are supposed to surrender to? Is submitting to the will of God easy? Not one bit! Following God’s will can be excruciating! I call those moments the Garden of Gethsemane moments when Jesus was in agony in the garden. Matthew 26:39 “Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”  Walking in full surrender to the will of God you have to put your flesh under subjection to fulfill certain things he wants you to do. Making Jesus Lord over your life is also including him in decisions. To walk in obedience to God, you’ll have what seems like significant losses but on the other side of obeying God is an abundance of blessings! Obeying him rather you can see what’s on the other side or not, is a step in the right direction. You don’t always immediately see the benefits of following his instructions, sometimes it’s years down the line before you see them.

“Sometimes, you’ll lose people, you’ll lose environments, and you’ll even suffer at times. You’ll have times of feeling all alone and asking yourself, “Is it all gonna be worth it?” Little did I know, yes it was worth leaving what I thought what was best for me behind!”

But before I understood that, I fought tooth and nail with God about changing my career for a very long time before acknowledging his plan. I’ll be honest. I feared I would be losing a prominent future, a future of wealth, financial freedom, and stability. That’s what I thought I was losing. So, I was not willing to give it up.   

We’ve all encountered a fight in some shape or form, from having to move to a new city, a new neighborhood, starting a new business, or a new career path. This is something we can all identify with sometimes, fighting the very thing that’s best for us. Some of us have strong wills, so sometimes it takes circumstances to break that wall we’ve built for us to yield to God. There are areas we have built walls maybe even towers for God not to touch. Those walls will come crumbling down when we’ve built something without his approval. Sometimes it’s those very things that wake us up to realign us to walk in full surrender to his will. Fighting while we’re supposed to be surrendering is costly! This is why I’m grateful to God! God’s love didn’t point the finger at me, and say “You loser, you messed up your whole life!” The enemy did, but God didn’t! Instead, God’s love gave me the option to choose him. He didn’t leave me in that state of mind, he didn’t leave me behind those walls of doing life my way! He loved me so much amid the fight, he loved me while I was fighting him! My eyes well up with tears when thinking of how patient God is with us, even when we fight with him! God’s love reaches beyond our fight and brick by brick he removes the hardness of our hearts. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After the fight, there was still a process to work through before I fully surrendered to God’s assignment. After a fight, you have to rest and recover, you have to pause and rethink what caused the fight in the first place. I discovered through some internal examinations that I needed my soul to be made whole. Uncertainty isn’t a comfortable place. It’s a place where you see your flaws, and it’s a place where you see your weaknesses. It’s a place where you see the inner man for who it really is. A place of uncertainty can be a place where growth is needed, and healing, and faith has the opportunity to grow. It’s a place of re-alignment, meaning you got off track somewhere, you missed the mark.

“During this time there was healing that I had to walk out. My mind, will, and emotions, my soul had to heal. God had to perform some internal work in me to understand that my worth and value truly came from Him and not outward things!”

While I fought to change my career, I kept landing jobs to work in education! After graduation, I seemed to always gain employment in schools! To put things more into perspective, these are the years right after graduating college with a degree in architecture, which was my dream career. But, God graced me to work with youth, and this came naturally to me. Isn’t that ironic, the thing we fight against the most is the very thing that’ll have the biggest impact on our lives and on the lives of others! Throughout my life, I have had the grace to work with youth, ranging from kids-young adults most of my lifetime. So as I continue to work in schools, this particular school I encountered, had me rethinking working in education. I started to have encounters of being taken advantage of, boundaries being crossed, and a lot of undermining and control being prevalent. The work environment was very toxic, it got so bad I requested to have a meeting with the principal and had to write a letter of my concern for the safety of the children in my classroom for being out of ratio. I encountered a lot of moments at this school, that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I said in my heart, “no thanks, if I have to go through mistreatment, I don’t want to work in another school! I’ve had it! I made up my mind, let me go ahead and start looking for graphic design jobs.” I had my mind made up, to not return to work in a school. If I was gonna have to deal with mistreatment, forget it! But later I understood that those encounters were a set-up to make me reject working in education.

I’ve tried to reason my way out of situations where I’m sure God was like, “Wait until she sees what’s on the other side of her surrendering.” After the uncertainty, I surrendered to what he wanted for my life. I talked myself into not wanting to continue to work in schools, because of that one incident. I finally hung my boxing gloves and waved the white flag to surrender to one of God’s assignments for my life. I had a brief moment of trying to go backward because of a situation that left me feeling like this is not worth it! But isn’t that the trick of the enemy to have you opt out of something cause you’ve had a bad experience with it? Bad experiences cause us to view from a filter that’ll group everything in one basket.

“Rather a bad relationship, a bad encounter with a church, a school, or a car dealership, you name it, one bad experience doesn’t mean they are all the same. That’s something I had to deal with, not allowing a bad experience to abort my assignment. I had a moment in prayer and I’ll never forget it, I said “God, if there is a certain type of child you want me to work with, I’ll do it!”

Shortly after that prayer, I was given a word in 2015 that God will use me in the classrooms and I’ll make a difference so much that it’ll be newsworthy. That word confirmed so much! Throughout the years I received a few more confirmations on the impact I’ll have in the classroom. Little did I know, God would place me in a room filled with special needs children. Working with special needs kids I’ve gained so much respect for humanity, I gained so much respect working and understanding how these little humans are valued by God. They are not mistakes, they are not to be overlooked or mistreated because of their outward limitations. This put an advocate mentality in me, just for people in general. Nobody’s life is wasted!

This was a world I have never seen, this was a world I was introduced to that stole my heart. I call them crumb snatchers cause there always snatching snacks lol but I’m absolutely grateful to God, I get to play a role in developing positive behaviors in the kids I work with.

 

 

All those fears I had of not being financially secure and not being able to accomplish certain things were crushed, God was and still fully providing for me! To this day being blessed and provided for by a decision, I made 8 years ago. So much favor has followed me in making that decision to work with a specific type of child. I had no clue I’ll be placed in self-contained classes working with special needs children, my heart is overwhelmed working with them. I value them, I love them and I’m built to develop them. 

Everyone has a fight, a time of uncertainty, and something they have to surrender to. I’m honored to have shared one of mine, relating to following what he wanted for me in my career. That moment in prayer catapulted my entire life! I pray you hear God amid the fight and uncertainties in life and that you’ll be motivated to surrender to the assignments he has in store for you. If you already have, share with others your “Worth Story” it’ll bless them!

Blog Posts

 

                               “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28

 

 

When it comes to life expectations, sometimes life doesn’t always go the way we’ve planned for it to go. We can plan our entire life, but at the end of the day, God’s plan is the one that will benefit us the most and sustain us! This is what I learned years later after submitting my will to his will, for my career. The career he had for me I was destined and graced to do. At the end of it all, “All things work together for the good, of those that love God.”  

Let’s rewind to where I left off in the previous blog…

Life Expectations Pt. 1

After receiving so many rejection emails, I felt rejected, I felt like I didn’t have what it takes to complete one of my life goals! My understanding of who I was, was intertwined with what I could accomplish outwardly. So you’d think that I would’ve got the picture to just move on. Being the type of determined person I am, I didn’t stop. I didn’t stop my pursuit of finding a job in the architecture and graphic design field, I was going to hold on until I could no longer hold on to this goal! I went for months and months applying for jobs that I thought could get my feet in the door. It was hard to shift direction, I invested years in college and I was not about to just give that up! After my encounter with God and being delivered from depression, I still had my mind focused on landing some type of job, that was related to architecture. As I continued my pursuit, I landed odd jobs, worked at books stores, worked at a radio station, and a couple of private schools. During this time, I still had this hunger and drive to land this job, no matter how long it took! 

You see at this time, my worth, who I was, and my value were merged with outward things I could do. Not getting the perfect career, the perfect job, or accomplishing certain goals by a certain age, made me feel like a failure. Especially with people and the world telling you, that by the age of 25-30, you need to be married, be in your career, and have kids a house, and a dog. With this almost crossing my mind daily, I put my journey into this rigid box. This box didn’t consider my calling, my assignment, or the timing of God that was specifically carved out for my personal journey. It made me feel like I missed the boat of a happy life. Like I was late, I was missing something or I was insignificant. Yes, I was a born-again Christian, yes I was filled and baptized with speaking in tongues with holy ghost fire, yet… I found myself in a place in life where I was deeply disappointed. You see my identity was married to what I could do! My identity was wrapped up in unrealistic expectations that I’d put on myself along with the world’s expectations. Rejection after rejection of not landing an architectural job, caused me to feel worthless. My identity was seriously misplaced. My identity was based on outward accomplishments, goals, to-do lists, and performances. Who I was, was so intertwined with what I could do, that I missed the importance of this scripture, “And this too shall pass.” 2 Cor. 4:17-18 The disappointment was my entire focus in that season. 
In my childhood I was the one who had a gazillion achievement awards, always listened to the teachers, etc. So I interpreted, that doing good things equated to who I was, by what I could perform. I do well, which meant I was good. I do horrible meant I was a horrible person. This is an immature and young mindset, that’s built off performance. This type of thinking is what sent me into depression. My identity was intercepted by works. This bled over into how I thought God thought about me too. You see how this can be dangerous in your walk with God. You base your works off of how well you are, or how horrible you must be by works. This mindset has nothing to do with obedience to God and your heart. You can do all the right things outwardly and your inner man can be wicked! I’m so glad the holy spirit illuminated this for me! Whew chile…
So not landing that job communicated to me, that I was a failure. What I didn’t realize at the time, is those were only chapters in my book of life, that was not the end of my story. Neither should this be the end of your story. Just because something didn’t work out for you in one season, doesn’t mean, that’s the end. It’s actually a road you can learn, gain wisdom and re-align those wheels of your journey to the assignment God has for you!
I know that experience strengthened me to keep moving forward regardless of what things may look like. Understanding this and submitting my career to God, shifted me into the career that he ordained and graced me to have. 
I found out, that my true identity and self-worth are not found in what I could do well, but in Who I Am in Christ!
Experiencing what I thought was a great loss was setting me up for a great gain! What was that great gain? Truly understanding my worth has nothing to do with outward things. Understanding my value in being a child of God, was greater than my career, goals, accomplishments, relationship status, what I drive, and where I live is nothing compared to the value of “Who’s I am!” Now, are those things shunned, heck no, but valuing those things bigger than the will of God? Now that’s simply dangerous!
I am a child of God! Understanding that what we perceive as great loss is sometimes the biggest blessing in disguise for what God wants us to have. I thought I lost a great career that was connected to a great life. Little did I know, that the greatest life a believer can have is saying yes to the will of God for their life! My great disappointment showed me the lack of understanding I had of my identity. When you’re a doer, a person that can get things done, a person that can make things happen, if not careful. You’ll equate what you can do with “Who you are.” So when things don’t go right, you’ll easily marry that with who you are as a person. I failed at knowing this because my value, worth, and identity were in my own hands and my control.
Being in control of your plans, making your own decisions, and creating a life without considering God, can leave a trail of mishaps.
I know now the importance of this scripture. “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Prov. 19:21 I’m grateful for what I’ve learned! I didn’t waste anything, if anything I’ve gained understanding, experience, and wisdom. I now know who I am, I now understand why I’m built the way I am, and I understand my strengths and how they apply to the kingdom! Understanding structures, foundations, buildings, and how things function has helped me in my walk with Christ! Now that I understood the separation between what I do from who I am, God sent me on a journey working in education after I submitted to his will during a specific prayer to him. And man it was not easy.

“

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

“

Proverbs 19:21

Have you ever planned your life according to how you wanted it to go? Or thought by 20, 30, 40, 50 yrs old, I will have this, I will have that? Yes? Well me too! Life has its way of crashing the party, interrupting our own plans, our to-do lists, and our goals. Now… are goals, and to-do lists, wrong? No! All of those are great, but when our plans haven’t considered what God has for our life? Then yes, it can be really wrong and actually hinder areas in your life! I’ll explain why later. Recently in our bible study fellowship, we’ve been talking about how things happen because we have to be developed. When it comes to our plans & goals, there are certain things God wants to develop in us, first! Why? Because he wants our character to be developed, he wants us to not give up every time we have a challenge in life, he wants us to be developed so we can begin to speak like Christ, love like Christ, develop and make disciples like Christ, throughout our life! He desires for us to be in his will, there are so many people and places that are connected to our “Yes to his will!” 

 

As I thought about developing a little more, anything that has to be developed sometimes takes days, months, years, and decades to develop before the physical manifestation of what you’ve been working on comes to pass. Think about some of the most stunning historical churches in Rome, Italy, or Jerusalem. Can you imagine the hard work, tenacity, the years it took to build these buildings? The oldest church building in the world is still standing! That building has survived for centuries! Can you imagine the beginning stages? I’m sure back then, it took years and years to develop a building that would stand throughout generations. Can you think about all the hardships, that I want to quit, the challenges, and trying times they may have gone through to make structures like that? It’s the same for us. There are things in life God wants to develop in us! Sometimes it may appear to be the worst times, the most challenging times, but oh the reward of being developed and having the tenacity to withstand it all! What will the generations after you look like after you made a decision to be obedient to God’s plan and to be developed by God? Will you be willing to take the time and become developed? Or skip past what he’s trying to do in your life? Well, if you are like me, I’ll share when I tried to skip past a whole life’s assignment, because of the plans I thought were best for me.

 

After graduating from college I thought this should be the best time of my life! Well, it should be, right? Little did I know, the plans of me one day becoming an architect were interrupted by God. Now, what God has planned for another may be different from another’s journey. For me, I had to later come to a decision. Before I get to the decision I made, whew it was not easy! Before I had the idea of becoming an architect, I’ve always had a natural ability to work with youth, from 2yrs old to young adults. Like a youth magnet, I remember years ago, riding on the bus and purposely avoiding eye contact with little kids, cause they always wanted to interact with me, I’m talking about babies and all lol! It felt like everywhere I went, lived, had random jobs, and was always involving kids! So that’s my backstory before I majored in architecture technology. I majored in architecture because I’ve always had the gift to draw, I drew all my life, and I still have drawings from childhood that I’ve kept. Yes, I have no clue how those drawings have withstood almost 40yrs! So of course I’ll major in architecture, right? So that’s what I did. I took still-life classes, and I almost majored in interior design as a major before deciding on architecture. So let’s speed up to the day of graduation, I was feeling good, my hair looked good, fresh nails, and I sang the national anthem at my graduation too! Couldn’t tell me anything lol. So fast forward, now I’ve graduated, submitting applications until I’m blue in the face, wanting someone to take a risk on a newbie after graduation. I’ve had plans, and goals to be the first architect in the family, graduating with that major, I thought, hey, I’m guaranteed to get in this line of work, I’m two minorities in this field. I’m a woman and I’m African American, oh yes, I smell nothing but success and prestige. And…BAM! Reality hit!

 

The reality of my plans and my career goals were met with disappointment after disappointment. We’re not hiring email after email. I’ve never felt so disappointed about life! After not being able to land a job, I went into a secret depression. Nobody knew I was crying my eyes out almost every night, it felt like the carpet of plans I laid out, was ripped from right under my feet! I landed flat on my face of disappointment. You see all my life that I could think of, I’ve always been a positive person, able to laugh, be cheery and keep a smile on my face. During this time, it was the total opposite when I went to my apartment. I literally cried almost every night, pillow soaked with tears of disappointment, feeling like a loser, feeling forgotten and left by God. Oh… but did he have a plan for me! I remember being in prayer one day in my apartment, and I remember the presence of God was so strong, it felt like this big God, that I thought left me hanging, I now felt his presence wrapping me up in his arms! I’ve never felt his presence engulf my entire being! I didn’t hear an audible voice, I didn’t see a white dove come and land on me and say “Daughter I see you!” Instead, I had an encounter with him, that changed the course of my entire life! I will never forget that encounter! That encounter took that ugly spirit of depression right out of me! The guilt of not becoming what I thought I was to become and the shame of feeling useless was no longer haunting my thoughts in the middle of the night. 

To be continued…Life Expectations Pt. II 

 “When growth, elevation, and transitions are near, turbulence is bound to happen.”

After God awakened me to having boundaries, turbulence was bound to happen. When you’ve woken up to truly knowing your worth, it may interrupt people’s plans for your life. Walking in this new self-awareness of what boundaries looked like for Ishca, was a new place for me. I’m aware of what’s in me and how I was created to operate. I’m a builder, I help activate, create and implement new ideas, try new things, develop different ways of doing things and have the grace to start it, work it, and finish it. All that is good, until you look up and start wondering “Wait…it’s not healthy to keep building other people’s buildings, while my building of life is dilapidated and put on the back burner.” That’s not balance, nor wisdom to work work work and not have time to be a good steward over your own life. It’s just as important to be a good steward over your own life just as much as it is to be a good steward of someone else’s vision. God never told us to neglect what he’s specifically called us to do. Life moves fast, 10yrs would have easily gone by if I haven’t rested in God and made a conscious decision, to stop what I was doing to hear clear direction on what was my next move and transition out of that particular church. Well God helped me, in my resting he said “Don’t Go Back.”

Let’s take a brief pause right here…

Helping and serving in any capacity is a great thing. I’ve learned and grown so much while serving in the local church, and still do. I’ve learned what building a team looks like, and I’ve grown in the understanding of what it looks like to help build another man’s vision before God can give you the capacity to build the vision he’s given you. I know what it looks like to spend countless hours, weeks, years, and decades serving under the leadership and have been in leadership over departments as well. I could go on and on about the benefits of serving in the local church. But in the midst of serving, having healthy boundaries is a must! If you are in an environment that doesn’t understand boundaries itself, you can be “groomed” into thinking work work work is the norm. I’m talking about all of your time, is devoted to building them up. I’m here to tell you, that is NOT of God! Resting and stepping away to be with our heavenly father should be our number one priority while serving in any capacity. Building his kingdom is #1! I remember stepping away and taking a sabbatical to rest, and hearing clear instructions from God was the best decision I’ve made. 

My journey got really ugly when my users at the time, were confused about my boundaries. My boundaries offended my users. While on sabbatical I was asked to do things after my sabbatical was over. It was totally disrespectful to me and the instructions God told me to do. And that was to REST. After boundaries were birthed, it was as if I was now against the team, because of this phrase, “I’ll let you know when I’m available, not at this time.” Having boundaries separated me from being used, having boundaries was the first thing that opened my eyes to “Ishca do you Know Your Worth?” Why am I sharing this story you may ask? Because there are countless amount of people being misused, abused, and gaslighted by unhealthy leadership, into working their vision and their personal agendas. It’s our kingdom’s duty to serve, but if it comes at the cost of you losing yourself, comes at the cost of not being a good steward over your own life? I’m here to tell you that’s not ok! I’m not talking about sacrificing at times, cause that’s what’s in the package of serving. I’m talking about being exhausted, missing family time, and finances not in order type of unhealthy serving. Rather than being at a job, in a relationship, or serving in your local church, healthy boundaries always have a place in your life and You Are Worth It! Resting, taking breaks, and spending quality time investing in you is a good things! It isn’t selfish!. I obeyed God to lay down my gifts for a season and had faith in God, that he would take care of my situation. Was it easy not to serve? NO! It was excruciating, it felt like a part of me was being ripped away. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. I rested in God for an entire month! This was the scripture I meditated on while resting. 

Hebrews 4:3-6

“For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world. For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works. And in this place again, If they shall enter into my rest. Seeing therefore it remaineth that some must enter therein, and they to whom it was first preached entered not in because of unbelief:”

I wanted to obey God by resting in him. That one instruction caused so many blessings in my life. I never went back. I’m still reaping benefits from obeying what God told me. I can go on and on about the benefits of resting in God, having boundaries, and being obedient to his instruction. I’m also an advocate to keep spreading the news, that the right God-ordained healthy leaders still exist! I pray if you’ve encountered something similar to my experience, that God will heal you and direct you to the right people. God still wants you to be connected and accountable and heal in a safe place.

This is one thing I want to leave you with. No matter how ugly life situations may get, follow God’s instructions no matter what! Having boundaries and Knowing Your Worth may offend many, unfortunately. But hearing and obeying God will save your life!

This is a book I was recommended by a good friend. I hope this book will encourage you and help you on your journey to Knowing Your Worth!

That image was from a FB post I made about how having boundaries, saved my life!

“Having healthy boundaries is a key ingredient in preserving the life God has given you.”

Sept. 2018

I remember being exhausted after working, for weeks and weeks in preparation for a conference. The role I played was the person before anyone showed up on the day of the event, I was already 2-3 months behind the scenes connecting the dots in preparation. At this time, I was truly operating in the gifts of help, meaning any and everything that had to get completed,  I was doing it. 

You see when your heart is in a place to truly help others and work as unto the Lord, you almost spend every moment being occupied working working working. With your head down serving, working, and serving, without truly resting, you can be groomed into, this is the norm. Unknowingly opening yourself to crafty manipulation, to be worked like a mule. 

Let me pause right here…

Not having healthy boundaries can be DEADLY. With no boundaries and a heart to serve, you are easy pickings, to be used up. Rather it’s in your workplace, in relationships, or serving on a team, you are a prime candidate to be expected to carry the weight and responsibilities endlessly if you don’t have boundaries. 

Back to the story, I was depleted, exhausted and my emotional well-being was not present. I became numb. Physically, emotionally and mentally depleted. As I continued throughout the night, I  wasn’t there mentally, I was burnt out. 

Dec. 2018 Boundaries was Birthed

During this month, boundaries were birthed. This two-letter word was like a freedom fighter riding on a white horse through a land of soldiers exhausted after fighting a war saying “We won, we won the war!” That two-letter word was, “No.” God gave me the authority and the grit to say “NO.” At this point, I released the ability to carry weight, God didn’t intend for me to carry. Why did it get to this point you ask? It got to this point, because, when you’ve been groomed for years to carry weight, it becomes your norm. When all you see, hear, and do, say’s work, work, work, you become blind to who you are. That’s very unhealthy and simply ungodly to abort who you are for the sake of just working working working. Even God rested…

 

Next week’s blog. Boundaries Pt. 2 (It Get Ugly Sometimes) 4/4/22